Been doing a lot of reflection lately, about the past and about where I want to go. Feel glad that finally I guess I'm with all the worst things that happened on me and I atarted to pick up my life and start to think when do I wanna go next?
Recently, feel so bored about my job, hate the company's lack of direction, dumb mangement and worst thing is I dun feel they treasured what I have been doing. Maybe it's time to move on, just like everything else in your life, either you wanna stay/you get stuck/you move on! Okay, 4 years in here, enough to tell if I like it or not, and my answer is pretty obvious.
My birthday is coming and this reminds me about age gain again. Honestly when I look back, I think this is the best moment in my life (not too old) and I know what kind of life I want and try to live with it, have money to spend on things I like, but sadly my mum dun agree with that. the amount of pressure she gives me really make me wonder "should i just find a random guy to get marry in order not to upset her?" .....of course this is jsut a very silly thought. But I guess this pressure will be bigger and bigger day by day!
Can I live gracefully even I am single? why not?
2009年5月15日 星期五
2009年3月16日 星期一
2009年2月28日 星期六
Heart Broken......
Found out the truth after all these months and I am really heart broken......! But good that I can't officially cut him out from my life and move on, tho at a really slow pace, but I am moving on........
2009年2月18日 星期三
Marriage.......
To be honest, ever since I was 16, I think of marriage as one of the many tasks just like having baby, is one of the tasks that I need to achieve in my life. I used to believe in marraige think it's the end of a couple that they can then have a family which won't break (guess it's becoz I grown up from a complete family tho my parents always fight, we still have a good happy family).
Ever since the last breakup, I found I get lost n lose faith in marraige. To me, that's not a breakup but kind of a divorce. When we got engaged, I thought it's for life. I can't tell myself why someone who promised to spend the rest of life with you will withdraw? True that there were problems between us and I did find it not the best but I thought we could sort things out together just as the vow a couple would say no matter rich/poor, sick/healthy......but then I find out this doesn't exist on the earth or maybe not to me. Still seeing happy couples around I do feel envy, but guess asking god why I can't find a guy who share a marraige with me is just like asking why I am not as pretty as Nicole Kidman I guess........
Attended my cousin's wedding last Sun at the time received the news that E is getting engaged. I know I should be happy for them but I kind of feel bitter, not becoz I am jealous but I guess I used to think marraige is a very happy thing, but now I don't believe in that anymore. When E is getting married, her bro is getting divorced I dun understand what this is all about and why this is happening.
To me, my cousin and her husband really should not get marry. They fight every week, too young, financially not healthy but still they were married. I remember my little cousin said she knows she's very emotional and head strong but her husband gave her a lot of patience and respect. I was truly moved by that, for a guy like him (seriously I never think he's good) but I can see how committed he is.
For one of my best friend E, I knew that they've had hard time comprimising with each others and nearly get to end the relationship. But M is a really good guy and they both hang in there, a recent event at her family was a good reflection to both of them they're really a family. Congrad my dearest friend and I do hope to see the strong sense of belonging will always be with you two!
After all these months, ran into tears again after attending the wedding. Again, please excuse me if I am not coming to your wedding, cause I am still sychologically not prepared.
Out of the blue, I found myself a way to get cheer up. I think everyone should create a playlist on their i pod named "Cheer Up List".
Ever since the last breakup, I found I get lost n lose faith in marraige. To me, that's not a breakup but kind of a divorce. When we got engaged, I thought it's for life. I can't tell myself why someone who promised to spend the rest of life with you will withdraw? True that there were problems between us and I did find it not the best but I thought we could sort things out together just as the vow a couple would say no matter rich/poor, sick/healthy......but then I find out this doesn't exist on the earth or maybe not to me. Still seeing happy couples around I do feel envy, but guess asking god why I can't find a guy who share a marraige with me is just like asking why I am not as pretty as Nicole Kidman I guess........
Attended my cousin's wedding last Sun at the time received the news that E is getting engaged. I know I should be happy for them but I kind of feel bitter, not becoz I am jealous but I guess I used to think marraige is a very happy thing, but now I don't believe in that anymore. When E is getting married, her bro is getting divorced I dun understand what this is all about and why this is happening.
To me, my cousin and her husband really should not get marry. They fight every week, too young, financially not healthy but still they were married. I remember my little cousin said she knows she's very emotional and head strong but her husband gave her a lot of patience and respect. I was truly moved by that, for a guy like him (seriously I never think he's good) but I can see how committed he is.
For one of my best friend E, I knew that they've had hard time comprimising with each others and nearly get to end the relationship. But M is a really good guy and they both hang in there, a recent event at her family was a good reflection to both of them they're really a family. Congrad my dearest friend and I do hope to see the strong sense of belonging will always be with you two!
After all these months, ran into tears again after attending the wedding. Again, please excuse me if I am not coming to your wedding, cause I am still sychologically not prepared.
Out of the blue, I found myself a way to get cheer up. I think everyone should create a playlist on their i pod named "Cheer Up List".
2009年1月8日 星期四
成長的代價
一天到醫院去探望好友的爸爸,真的很心酸呢.相信我去探訪的時候,uncle 已經好了不少,但難免為他和他的一家心酸,失去自我的活動能力要人照顧,相信uncle一定不開心. 但幸好, 友人一家是一個很幸福的大家庭(真的很envy!), 而她們的媽媽也很堅強. 心中不禁想"why god let this happen on him?", 但明白天父有他的安排,但願她們一家人也可以一起成長. May God bless dearest uncle and give him faith & strength for the recovery process!
和好友E小姐也認定若生小朋友, 一定要生2個, 要一個人去面對所有家中的問題是不公平的.家人的支持在患難中是最最重要的.
近來常常生病,很惱人.....
和好友E小姐也認定若生小朋友, 一定要生2個, 要一個人去面對所有家中的問題是不公平的.家人的支持在患難中是最最重要的.
近來常常生病,很惱人.....
2008年12月31日 星期三
2009 Resolution
Though it's already very late, still insist to write my 2009 resolution on the first day of 2009.
1. Live and make people around me having a Happy Life
2. Finish my MBA (yeah, no more projects/homework tho I'll miss the class)
3. Find my next step in my career (I need some change)
4. Stay in shape (no weight gaining)
5. Spend more time with family esp. my dad and my grandma
6. Be a better Christian (keep praying and hope god will hear my voice, especially my prays for people around me)
7. Do something for the society (let's see if the plan will work out)
8. Understand myself more and know what I want/dun want & need/dun need in my life
9. Be more healthy
10. Europe Trip
No matter how much challenge I may see and how many ups and downs I need to survivein the coming year, when I read this message again, I will be able to give myself an answer.
1. Live and make people around me having a Happy Life
2. Finish my MBA (yeah, no more projects/homework tho I'll miss the class)
3. Find my next step in my career (I need some change)
4. Stay in shape (no weight gaining)
5. Spend more time with family esp. my dad and my grandma
6. Be a better Christian (keep praying and hope god will hear my voice, especially my prays for people around me)
7. Do something for the society (let's see if the plan will work out)
8. Understand myself more and know what I want/dun want & need/dun need in my life
9. Be more healthy
10. Europe Trip
No matter how much challenge I may see and how many ups and downs I need to survivein the coming year, when I read this message again, I will be able to give myself an answer.
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